Tuesday, June 11, 2013


Right now, there is a bizarre strip of fog obscuring the middle of the view from our window, reminiscent of the censoring plastic packets shop owners sometimes put on porn magazines. I can see the hedge at the bottom, and the top of Harbour Cone sticking up at the top, and behind it I imagine the sea making patterns of boobs and penises. It's all very silly.

I've been thinking this morning about balance, the difficulty in maintaining it, and even reconciling two different things to find a balance. By the latter, I specifically mean my cynicism and my cheesiness. How do you find a balance with these? Sometimes I don't even know what will amuse me, and what will make me roll my eyes so far back into my head that I can see my brain, so how will anyone else know? Example: today I saw an article someone on style file had written about dog leads. Fine. Then I saw she had named her dog 'Hope'. Eye-roll sequence began. Really?! 'Hope'?! For a dog?!! Come on! Yet I'm the first person to cry at a wedding, or when someone sings I Can't Make You Love Me at karaoke. I'm having better luck with finding a balance between my proclivities to let my emotions run me, and to over-rationalise. Within the balance lies a happy place, where I can co-exist with others without wanting to hit them, or myself. I wish we'd spent more time in health class talking about coping strategies like this, for things like anxiety and stress and all of the other things that prey on young women, and a little less on STIs. Not that being able to identify gonorrhea isn't a useful skill, but I guarantee more of us have had to deal with head issues than cootch problems, and sexual health clinics are free. Unless you're at uni (where you only get a prescribed number of them, anyway), therapy costs an arm and a leg.

I realise this is all very disjointed. Sometimes that's just how it is.

As for this song, it's one I've always loved, but only recently realised how beautifully dark it is. Who hasn't made friends of heartaches? The problem with them is that they'll always be there for you, if you let them.

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