Sunday, February 10, 2013

On my outskirts

Moving is a bit like having another Christmas (but without everyone around me being excited or stressed out too). I should probably be avoiding the turps; something that turned out to make everything a bit easier to cope with when I had to do it in December, but when it's true summer and you're leaving, that's pretty much impossible. So here I am, over a week since my last post, struggling to remember all of the things I filed away in my messy little brain throughout the week, planning to blog about them later. I know they're in there somewhere, but it's a little bit like looking for my little bandeau top (which I finally found in my undie drawer); I don't want to make a big mess at night-time, especially when we are surrounded by the physical mess that is packing up an apartment which you have had three years to fill, and fill it you goddam have. It's my gift/curse. Today at the markets I bought six books (and then was gifted another four by the very kind previous owner who wanted all of his famous five books to go  to someone who appreciated them (me), and a pair of shoes. I feel as if Vincent thinks I wasn't taking our conversation about the truck and whether or not we can actually fit everything we already have, that we had yesterday after we left a secondhand dream-shop we found in Pukekohe... where I bought more books, champagne saucers, mugs, plates, and a jumper. Gift/curse.

So instead, some things that are on the edge of my mind, that can be safely peeled off without having any dams break, or something like that.

1. Some links about women: excellent Lena Dunham, and the tragic and horrible story of Minami Minegishi. Actually, these links could cause one of the dams in my head to break; what the fuck. Both of these women's experiences made me fucking furious.

2. Dreams. Ones I've had when I've been sleeping, and ones I've had while awake. They're both confusing, but the awake ones are frightening because they mean I want things, but I have to do things I've never done before to attain them.

3. Whether or not it really is okay to judge people by what they put out. Where the line is between grouping and stereotyping. How much power people have over how they seem. Whether or not it's okay to write people off. How many times you have to do things you don't want to do in the name of Emily Post.

4. The Sopranos, which we are watching from start to finish, again. I find I am describing people on the news as Fucks rather than Fuckers. My dreams have guns in them.

5. This song.

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