Thursday, November 24, 2011


Tomorrow afternoon, two of my good friends are tying the knot, and I'm excited. I love weddings; I love the cheesy speeches, and the funny bridesmaid dresses, and of course I love the open bar. I love watching the bride walk up the aisle; it's my favourite part and I cry every time, regardless of how well or little I know the woman, or if I stayed up late the night before plotting ways to kill her (in this case I actually felt like Anne when Diana is married; kissing her goodbye before going ahead I felt half in love with her myself, and was shaking with sobs as she made her ascent). But what I really love is the romance of it; two people choosing to enter into a patriarchal contract, just because they can't keep going without everyone and the law knowing that they're half people without each other. Not being good with change, stability has always been important to me, and while I know a piece of paper with your signatures on it doesn't make a guarantee, it does make me feel like it has weight.

It's no secret that I love Love. Few things make me happier than to learn someone is in love with someone who is in love with them, and then to see them get happier and happier. I vaguely remember the Greek belief that we were all originally two-headed, eight-limbed beings, half-male/half-female, who cartwheeled around contentedly until one of the gods got mad and sawed us in half, condemning us to walk the earth alone. Like marriage (Vote Labour goddamit!), the story excludes LGBT people and people who prefer to be alone, but it does kind of explain the feeling you get when you find your other half; excitement and over-whelming relief. When I found Vincent, I felt like I finally made sense; like there was someone, who had no obligation to love me or even like me, who understood what I was about, and did love me because of, and not in spite of, my... idiosyncracies.

My Favourite Weddings:
1. Obviously, my own, although strictly speaking it was more a marriage ceremony than a wedding. It certainly had the best music of any wedding, ever, and I don't recall ever seeing a more excited pair (although I did have an inside perspective on these two).
2. Steve van Zandt's. He married Maureen on New Year's Eve, 1982, had Springsteen as his best man and Little Richard(!!!) presiding over the ceremony. And Percey Sledge sang this at their reception (in the flesh, not like how Springsteen sang at our wedding):

I didn't really go for this song when I was in my Kool FM days, but lord I love it now. I don't think I really believed men loved women like this, unless they were suckers, until I met Vincent.
3. Julia's and Robbie's. Really only because of Steve Buscemi, but he is enough. I think I've posted this before but it's so good I don't care:

4. Buttercup's (nightmare) wedding in The Princess Bride. If I had a dollar for every time my sisters or I said "Twue Wove" I would have enough for the horse she gets to ride at the end. I used to do the suicide scene when I was drying the cutlery when I was little with my Dad's 10" chef's knife, pushing it right into my chest (no Westley ever stopped me; but not only were my breasts not perfect, they were non-existent - concave, even).
5. Elaine's to The Make-Out King. Of course I don't love the wedding itself, but it is the greatest, greatest ending to the greatest, greatest movie. Don't watch the clip if you haven't seen the movie (and don't do anything else either; just get to a video shop and right that wrong).

It's a nice coincidence that tomorrow night, while my friends are dancing and celebrating, Elton John will be playing a concert down in Dunedin. The night of my graduation party, the groom-to-be and I did an interpretive dance to end all interpretive dances to Tiny Dancer; we'd done many interpretive dancers before to various songs, but that night Elton took over and it was flawless - almost sad, because the movements flowed through me in a way I knew they never could again. I used to be so bothered by things passing forever that I lived in a constant state of reminiscing; I would start to feel nostalgic about things while they were still happening. Not so anymore. I feel sad when things end, but there's so much to look forward to. Like weddings - they're magical, but it's after the wedding that the adventure really begins.

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