Anyway, I (unsurprisingly) digress. We have now been to the High Court and voted (actually not as momentous as I expected - the court bit, not the voting - and without the community feel of suburban booths), and in spite of my pessimism about the results and disillusionment with NZ, I'm a bit excited. Elections, the start of them at least, are exciting. The lead up to this one has been completely disillusioning, and I feel like maybe NZ isn't the place we want to be; maybe that place is Sweden, or Denmark, or Cuba. It's one thing to work towards a goal; I'd love to do that. But when the results make it clear that most people in NZ have a very different goal for the country than I do, it might be time to cut our losses and have our babies somewhere where the majority of people care about each other. But right now, I'm focussing on the people here who care about each other. It's not as difficult as it might be because we're watching John Campbell, who I know cares about people, especially poor people and ethnic minorities. And there's always that excitement of seeing something unfold in front of you, even if it's a car crash; if there was a volcanic eruption in Auckland and there was no escaping it, I think I would watch.
Three years ago, I watched the election results at my lovely also-lefty friends' house, and when it was over my cousin and I sat on the couch and cried. I felt so sad, and disappointed, and incredibly embarrassed. I felt like I had no control over the future, and that we had all betrayed the people who need us the most. And I felt like we had all betrayed Helen. This year, I've felt these things already. I'm ashamed of everybody who has so much but won't give; people I know and love who think that we deserve everything we have, or don't have. So I'm sitting on the couch in my undies, watching the results unfold, and getting ready to take what I can get. Harawira looks safe. Arden might just pull it off and become my electorate MP. The Greens are looking good. The young Nats just shown made me want to simutaneously vomit and break things.
It's going to be a long night.