Saturday, June 18, 2011

Please Whisper



Learn from my experience. Lemonade is much more lemony on the way back up. If there's a chance you'll puke, I'd recommend something else; milk curdles a little but it doesn't hurt the throat, water is good but doesn't disguise the taste of bile if that's in the mix. One of the best things I've ever vomited was a berry smoothie (strawberry - no seeds); it was exactly the same as before it went down and still cold as it was made with frozen yoghurt - very refreshing. Unfortunately it had been made by Boost who are no longer in NZ (what are you going to do?).

Last night after drinking quite a bit of beer and quite a lot of cider I went to McDonalds and ate a dodgy Big Mac. My reasons for blaming the Big Mac are the following: if I was going to puke from the drinking, I would have! and as soon as all of the Big Mac was out (in the middle of the night; luckily I woke up first. Once I made a curry with chicken that wasn't good for myself and two of my friends before going out, and ate more when I got home to help my hangover, and woke up with bits of chicken stuck to my back and a little pile of chicken spew beside the bed. Fortunately we had wooden floors.) I was able to sleep again (until I had the lemonade). My poos smell like cigarettes. But I'm on the mend; my status has gone from I Wish I Was Dead to I Wish I Was In A Coma to Lousy to Pretty Bad. Now I'm just Not Good.

I decided early on that where I couldn't be a good example to my niece, I would be a horrible warning.

(Image from The Publican Post)

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